Warehouse 13 Wednesday: Endless

EPISODE 5.6 "Endless"

Original Air Date: 19 May 2014

Mrs. Frederic: "Warehouse 13 is reaching the end of it's tenure"

Warning: This review may contain spoilers.

First a technical thingy. For these "fresh" episodes I usually like to use screen-captures from one of the online sites so I can pick some unique pictures. Unfortunately while preparing this review there weren't any around or at least no full ones to be found. One of the sources I had used for the last few (otvseries.com) had a "Bones" episode in the link for this episode, maybe I was just trying too soon. I'm only talking the freebies not the Amazons where you have to pay just to see the dang thing, when it is on a ton of other places for free. So some images I wanted to use I couldn't find readily. The ones I am using are either part of some of the online previews and promos or stills from hot off the press reviews.

This final episode was a bitter/sweet pill to swallow as many series finales are. Part of the bitterness was that damn Pete/Myka shipping they just HAD to canonize that crap. I am not against having characters fall for each other but not main characters that have already established the fact that it is one of those tension friendships that started with one person "lusting" (for lack of a better word) after the other and the other not reciprocating at all. From day one it was obvious that Pete was attracted to Myka but she WAS NOT attracted to him. That is how things should have stayed. I know people can change over time but it is best not to change characters. The only people who enjoyed this matching up were the fangirls who have been requesting it since day one, most of the other fans have been saying NO FRACKING WAY! When she kissed him to show she "loved" him ooooohhh I got real pissed at the writers and producers for that. OK end of this portion of my shipping rant.

Other fans may not like the series finale because of the format of it's storytelling. One poster on the IMDb.com boards called it a "clip episode", meaning it was a lazy writers episode made up from clips of previous episodes. Except the "clips" were new footage as someone else pointed out. I liked the episode and the format even though I normally don't like that lazy style. It does make for a good format to use for a series wrap-up though.

We start things off by going Back to the Future to 1889 London during the reign of Warehouse 12. A street tart is screaming and being chased by a shadowy figure one Jack The Ripper. He corners her but she is not completely what she appears to be and not as helpless.  She reveals herself to be Warehouse Agent H.G. Wells (Jaime Murray) by turning Harriet Tubman's Thimble, she shoots Jack with a Tesla gun and takes his lantern which is another artifact. A proper Englishman comes from around a corner and congratulates H.G. on her work for the Warehouse. I didn't catch all the detail but he mentions the previous 11 Warehouses were not in England and they make a note that the Warehouse will "never" leave England. The scene fades as a video image being watched by the Warehouse 13 team seated around a large round stone table that looks like something that should come from the Stargate.

Mrs. Frederic explains that the table is the inspiration for King Arthur's Round Table and is a sort of time capsule that records the defining moment of a warehouse agent. As part of the ritual of the warehouse moving the current warehouse agents "record" their defining moment into the table's database. It is the table that decides what part of a warehouse agent's past is their "defining moment". That moment in their service to the warehouse that best describes them as an individual.

Mrs Frederic suggests that each of the members contribute. First up is Claudia whose moment is a very silly huge tap-dancing musical number that is brought on by Pete pushing a button on an artifact (of course) which is the Marquee of the original performance of 42nd Street which causes an army of dancing girls to force the victim to tap-dance until they die. The solution to stopping the Broadway disaster is the combination of alcohol from Busby Berkely's Flask poured onto the tin pan from Tin Pan Alley. The alcohol is attracted to anything showbiz/theater related and the pan when flung seeks out anything showbiz/theater related. Claudia has to do a showstopping tap-dance to distract the showgirl army so the alcohol soaked tin pan can do it's damage to the Marquee lights.

Pete not wanting the warehouse to move or their team to be broken up and retired doesn't want to have anything to do with the time capsule table. When it comes time for Myka's turn it reveals that she has true feelings for Pete (shipping UGH) after her suburban Ninja cat buglers adventure with Pete. I think this is where the character Maddie (Jennifer Gibson) comes in, not sure as I didn't catch much of the character names from this bit. The artifact of the adventure was a five-tailed fox statue that turns whoever touches the statue into a Ninja.

For Artie a time-travel adventure is featured from a memory that Artie chooses and Mrs Frederic warns that it could backfire, but he wants to relive/record it anyway. So sometime in the 80s or 90s Artie takes a newbie Agent Scott (Samm Levine) for a first assignment on a case Artie has been trying to solve for sometime. The catch is he only has a half-hour to try to find an artifact that is keeping a night club from New Years Eve 1941 in a time loop. Once a year the night club appears at 11:30 PM and Artie has a half hour to figure out what the artifact is to snag it. He is close to solving the case but isn't quite there yet he figures a set of new eyes would help and it does. The artifact is Thomas Wedgewood's Champagne Glass which has the power to keep a moment frozen in time. A newly wedded war bride has used it to keep her husband fresh and away from the war America has just entered. She hasn't yet told him that she is "in a family way".

Artie's moment ends with Scott calling Artie "Dad". This revelation gets Claudia a bit mad at Artie for keeping his son a secret and she storms off. At some point in the episode it is also revealed that at this time Claudia does not want to be the Warehouse caretaker even though she has often said how excited she is and can't wait to become the caretaker.

Meanwhile Steve doesn't quite feel like taking his turn because he has never really felt like he fits in and has some secret one-on-one time with Mrs. Frederic as she shows him some of her past, which is kept secret from the audience as we are shown side scenes of Pete wanting to find a way to keep the warehouse from moving and Artie getting mad at the warehouse for just using everybody who ends up getting caught up in it.

When it does come time for Steve's moment to share we are treated to a tribute to the movie Fantastic Voyage Warehouse 13 style. Apparently Artie has gotten some kind of artifact trapped inside of his heart that is going to kill him, by using some sort of miniaturization device of H.G.'s Claudia and Steve are shrunk down and ala the movie must navigate via submarine through Artie's body. It is while Steve is in the center of Artie's heart that he feels the awesomeness of it and has found something he is a part of or some such nonsense.

After the stupid canonizing of Myka giving in to the Pete Myka shipping and confronting Pete about HER feelings for HIM Pete is ready to contribute to the time capsule. His moment is the longest of all of them and doesn't have any one specific event. For him it is all just everything about the entire warehouse job and the family unit of the warehouse staff that becomes his moment. I think part of this is the often forgotten alcoholic past of his. I think this "everything is so wonderful" moment comes from that and is the warehouse's way of telling Pete he is needed. I think this happy moment confuses people a little in thinking that maybe Pete is going to be caretaker since Claudia doesn't want the job. That is just fan confusion.

There was a wonderful moment with Mrs. Frederic and Leena where Leena tells Mrs. Frederic that she knows she is destined to die IN the warehouse. Mrs Frederic says that she will do what she can to stop it but Leena tells her that is is something that must be and she can't stop it.

Series Regulars:
Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock)
Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly)
Artie Nielsen (Saul Rubenik)
Claudia Donovan (Allison Scagliotti)
Steve Jinks (Aaron Ashmore)
Mrs. Frederic (CCH Pounder)

Helena "H.G." Wells (Jaime Murray)
Leena (Genelle Williams)

Guest Cast:
Scott (Samm Levine)
Maddie (Jennifer Gibson)
Jack (Jack Kenny) Series Producer (uncredited cameo as actor)

I mentioned other places that I love/hate this episode. For the most part I love it and about 90% of what is in it, the 5% or so of the Pete and Myka relationship crap I couldn't stand and was cursing too much during their "romantic" kiss. I am not alone in the thought that they forced the issue here. One person said that it was because of the shortened season that it seemed forced and that had they had a full season or more to tell things properly it wouldn't have been so forced and could live out naturally. Well that is a nice theory but for this series and these characters I think it was the WRONG WAY to go. A while back with another series I love Doctor Who they messed with some relationships and revealed that a character I loved was the daughter of two of the other more regular characters. That was another decision I thought was WRONG but I have since accepted that. I suppose sometime later I will accept this also, but I still won't LIKE it.

We the audience are treated to a glimpse of the future to "several decades later". To see Claudia is now the Warehouse caretaker with a different crew and that Warehouse 13 is still in the same place and hasn't moved yet. Series Producer Jack Kenny makes an acting cameo here. I wasn't quite sure of the significance until I saw some discussions online yesterday (Tuesday 20 May), I was thinking maybe the other two characters were also producers or writers even though I think I've seen the actress before.

I give this episode 4 Warehouse artifacts ****

Warehouse 13 Wednesday: Cangku Shisi

EPISODE: 5.5 "Cangku Shisi"
倉庫十四 (Warehouse 14)

Original Air Date: 12 May 2014

CLAUDIA: "It's like the transporter from Star Trek minus the dilithium crystals"

Warning: This review may contain spoilers.

Wow a major adrenaline pumping emotion driving episode. This episode packed a lot of action into it and a few twists and turns I don't want to ruin everything. OK so we open things up with Claudia going to the facility where the Warehouse Regents had her sister Claire (Chryssie Whitehead) in the artifact induced coma. Not only is Claire gone but the artifact that is keeping her in the coma is gone. Using the Durational Spectrometer Artie and Claudia discover that Benedict Valda (Mark Sheppard) from the alternate time-line has kidnapped Claire.

Valda gives a demonstration of power of some artifacts to a mysterious buyer telling him that instead of being stored away to collect dust they should be used and experimented with to advance science and civilization. He endangers a crowd of people in a park and is several steps ahead of the warehouse team. They save the people and must figure out what his plan is.

The team discovers that Valda's plan is to move the warehouse using Clarie as a puppet caretaker to his "Warehouse 14". Artie describes the special procedure that needs to be followed to insure the warehouse gets moved properly and the artifacts transferred to the new location. There are three artifacts that need to be used and they discover that Valda has them, except for one piece which they must travel to Boston to obtain. As with Indiana Jones in his movies they locate the artifact only to have it taken from them by their nemesis.

The team works out that Valda plans to move the warehouse to China and has found a location. Pete, Myka and Claudia use an artifact portal to beat Valda to China while Artie and Steve try to hold down the fort er the warehouse and keep Valda from completing the transfer of the artifacts to the new warehouse.

 While picking up the pieces so to speak, resettling things Artie and Myka see the warehouse compass (one of the tools needed to move the warehouse) turns back on. Artie Farnsworths Mrs.Frederic she announces that Valda's actions have set some things in motion that even she can't control or predict. Some of Mrs. Frederic's past was revealed earlier in the episode that confirms she is over 100 years old.

Series Regulars:
Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock)
Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly)
Artie Nielsen (Saul Rubenik)
Claudia Donovan (Allison Scagliotti)
Steve Jinks (Aaron Ashmore)
Mrs. Frederic (CCH Pounder)

Guest Cast:
Claire Donovan (Chryssie Whitehead)
Benedict Valda (Mark Sheppard)

On a light subtle reference to something else the artifact that Benedict Valda used to control Claire the Donovan Chester Moore Hall's Achromatric Lens has major similarities to the Borg from Star Trek: The Next Generation and later Trek Series.

Once again they brought the dang Pete Loves Myka shipping junk into the plot, just as NCIS: Los Angeles has been shipping Marty Deeks and Kensi Blye. Maybe both shows have the same romance loving writers. With this new plot undertones Pete has become more of a wuss (ditto Deeks).

I give this episode 4 Warehouse artifacts ****

Warehouse 13 Wednesday: Savage Seduction

EPISODE 5.4 "Savage Seduction"

Original Air Date: 05 May 2014

CLUADIA "Nice work ladies, take five."

Warning: This review may contain spoilers.

Hola,

Bienvenido a Almacén Trece y mi informe sobre el episodio "Salvaje de Seducción". OK do I need to use BabelFish again to reverse translate that?*

First off this was a very fun episode, it was super silly. I think the production team decided on this one to just pull all the stops out and say "what the heck the show is canceled lets just make a fun silly episode". I know some hardcore WH13 fans hate it because it was so silly and slapstick. So What the silliness is in part to the telenovela format style/nature. Anyone who was expecting it to be a serious episode is probably too engrossed in the show to notice any subtleties like genre parody. Also the artifact that Artie and Pete take into the situation was a clue that things would get pretty silly. I really loved this episode despite some of the lame silly things that I would normally wonder why did they overlook that? Or why didn't they fix that?

I probably should say that the episode totally embraced the whole Cinco de Mayo thing with embedding the main artifact of the episode inside a Spanish speaking telenovela style show that is entitled "Salvaje de Seducción" ("Savage Seduction") They even have the dialogue spoken in Spanish and have subtitles in English during the telenovela scenes. Pete seems to have a little trouble with the Spanish not sure if it is a character thing, an actor thing or just my imagination. Oh even the opening music was in Latin music style. I think the only other cool thing they could have done was to have planned a little better and started Season 5 a week earlier so that this episode would have been number 5 instead of number 4, but you can't be totally perfecto.

Ahora con la revisió - Um Now on with the review. Things started normally for our Warehouse Agents, which as we know doesn't stay normal. Myka is typing away at a laptop on the couch at the Bread & Breakfast. Pete comes in from behind her with a snack (a hoagie sandwich of some kind) he reads what she is typing over her shoulder and she snaps the laptop shut. She has been writing a novel, off and on for about a year now, mostly off. Artie comes in with news of an artifact ping and yells for Steve. Pete and Myka vocalize the ping should be for them but Artie explains that he wants Steve and Claudia to handle it to get Claudia away from her exhaustive overworking of trying to figure out how to completely cure her sister Claire.

The ping takes Claudia and Steve to the college campus of "Dakota University", which they get to via the GPS of Steve's Toyota Prius (a subtle nod to SyFy Channel's previous not so-subliminal advertising partnership with it's advertisers in WH13 to the annoyance of some WH13 fans). A student Charlie Battes (Lovell Adams-Gray) was giving a presentation when a shadow flies from the back of the room slams him up against the wall breaking his spine. The hospital reports he has alcohol poisoning but the professor says the student was clean sober while giving his presentation.

Steve and Claudia talk to one of the student's roommates and learns he was a party hardy type. They visit the site he was partying at and find a cellphone with a video showing him falling from a roof onto a car. The time stamp on video from the cellphone matches the time he was giving the presentation back on campus. His back injuries he received in the classroom are consistent with a fall like that shown on the video, but how could he be in two places at once? Based on some graffiti and a Latin phrase the student shouted before he fell, Steve figures out he was associated with a frat on campus.

Back at the B&B Pete's old girlfriend Kelly the veterinarian (Paula Garces) makes a surprise visit, she is very pregnant. She assures Pete he isn't the father, besides it has been over two years since they were together and she has since married, her husband is the father. The reason for her visit is that something strange and weird has happened and Pete works with the weird. Her grandmother Horntenia Hernandez (Teresa Yenque) who is always at home has disappeared and the weirdness has something to do with her TV which is showing the final episode of her grandmother's favorite telenovela "Salvaje de Seducción" even after it has been unplugged from the wall and power source. Another sort of subtle nod this time to WH13s own cancellation. While investigating the disappearance of grandma the house cat shows them what happened to her by getting sucked into the TV and onto the telenovela and there is grandma playing the role of Dona Fausta the family matriarch of the show, according to Kelly the character dies in the final episode. Carelessly Myka and Kelly are also sucked into the television, Myka has become a maid name Maribel and Kelly is a rich woman named Ms. Carmen Obregon who suspects Maribel of being attracted to her fiance Armando.

On campus while visiting the frat house investigating the injured student, Claudia and Steve hit some roadblocks by the frat boys. They notice one party hardy frat brother Ox (Serje Basi) headed downstairs to chug-a-lug they are not allowed to enter the house upon turning around heading to the street they notice the party boy's "Twin" sitting outside studying. Suspecting something is going on at the frat house they peak in a basement window to see party dude Ox down a pitcher of beer and pass out, a shadow races from him straight to his studying "twin". So the frat boys have found something that duplicates people, one lazy no-good party hardy bum and one goodie-two-shoes bookworm.

After a Farnsworth conversation/update about grandma's TV, Artie arrives at the home of Kelly's grandmother. Pete gives him a letter she had received recently from the producers of the telenovela, but Pete can't read it 'cause it's written in Spanish. Fortunately Artie can read Spanish. As a thank you gift for being a loyal fan the producers sent her a prop broach that had been used on the show. Artie and Pete see Nana wearing the artifact brooch (Dona Fausta's Brooch). Artie theorises that Nana's love for the show and sadness of the cancellation news turned the brooch into an artifact. They will have to go into the show to save Myka, Kelly and Nana, before they do though Artie hands Pete one of Harvey Korman's Cufflinks Kroman was famous for being unable to keep in character on The Carol Burnett Show. Harvey's cufflinks allow a person to stay themselves when they get into the role of a character. Cufflinks in hands Artie and Pete then enter the TV.

Claudia and Steve discover the artifact that duplicates people is a candle, Edna St. Vincent Millay's Candle to be precise. When the candle is burned at both ends and wax from the candle is splashed on someone, that person is split into two separate "twins" one is hard working and studious and the other lazy fun loving and wild. When one of the twins is knocked unconscious they are reunited (the shadow that jumps into the individual). Before they can get hold of the candle and defuse it, Steve gets duplicated by it. His wild fun loving self is a stereotypical word mincing and lisping homosexual horn dog, while his hard working studious self is a bit reserved and embarrassed. Claudia quickly likes the stereotypical  Steve and acts as his fag hag big time. It makes for many humorous lines.

Pete arrives in telenovela land but there is no Artie. He discovers he is speaking in Spanish and gets a big kick out of it. Soon he discovers he is the much talked about lover Armando and that Maribel is in love with him and that Carmen and her mom Alicia (Sonia Braga) are plotting to kill Dona Fausta and anyone else who gets in the way of some inheritance or something.

Pete and Myka discover Artie in a psyche ward in a straight jacket as Colonel Rafael Obregon the lost son of Dona and thought to be the father of Carmen, at some point Artie drops the cufflink he was holding on to and reveals that Maribel is his true daughter. A corny effect of the cufflinks artifact is whenever Pete, Artie or Myka receive the cufflink a trumpet blast sounds, they get a blast of air in their face which blows Pete/Armondo's mustache so hard it almost falls off. The trumpet blast is then followed by a shout of "Ole!" The first time it happens it was pretty funny but as the running gag of the artifact it wears thin very fast, still pretty corny though. The warehouse team eventually get their act together and stop the nefarious family members and find the brooch. Artie neutralizes the artifact brooch by breaking it returning them to the real world.

Claudia and the Steves track down the candle, the Steves fight over it and Claudia manages to get it and bag it. She is surprised that it wasn't neutralized and then figures out that one of the Steves has to be knocked unconscious. This she does by zapping wild Steve with her mini pocket Tesla.

Later in the evening as Claudia is typing away at something in the main office at the warehouse Artie storms in angry at her for doing something and reveals that someone has taken Claire. Cliffhanger for next episode. Aye Caramba!

Series Regulars:
Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock)
Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly)
Artie Nielsen (Saul Rubenik)
Claudia Donovan (Allison Scagliotti)
Steve Jinks (Aaron Ashmore)

Guest Cast:

Dr. Kelly Hernandez (Paula Garces)
Horntenia Hernandez (Teresa Yenque)
Alicia (Sonia Braga)
Maria (Barbara de la Fuente)
Nicole (Angelica Lisk-Hann)
Esperanza (Carmen Araiza)
Lupe (Stefania Serna)
Professor Moulton (Craig Eldridge)
Charlie Battes Frat Brother (Lovell Adams-Gray)
Bryce (Jeremy Ferdman)
Ox (Serje Basi)
Asylum Orderly Carlos (Dalton Brown)

I give this episode 4.5 Warehouse artifacts ****.5


*Original English for BabelFish translation to Spanish:
Hello,
Welcome to Warehouse Thirteen and my review of the episode "Savage Seduction".

Warehouse 13 Wednesday: A Faire To Remember

EPISODE: 5.3 "A Faire To Remember"

Original Air Date: 28 April 2014

MYKA: "Don't worry about it, I'll take care of Artie"

Warning: This review may contain spoilers.

This episode started to get back to the basics the series should be on. There was the main artifact quest search mystery and then the back at the warehouse picking up the pieces sort of back story part. Things start off at a Renaissance faire where Oswald "The Doofer" (Ryan Cartwright) is having problems juggling some wooden clubs and starts getting heckled. A mysterious masked figure magically appears and sends some energy to the heckler causing him to have a heart attack, the mysterious figure then disappears.

Meanwhile back at the ranch or rather the Bread and Breakfast Artie announces that the new dark vault is ready and he needs help returning the artifacts from that section, he tells the team about a ping (the incident  at the Ren Faire) He sends Pete and Steve to the Faire and enlists Myka to help with the artifact restocking. But first she has to "locate" Claudia. Claudia is determined to revive her sister Claire (Chryssie Whitehead) and somehow Myka has figured that out, she also has figured that she is doing it behind Artie's back.

At the fair Pete and Steve interview Oswald (Cartwright SyFy fans will remember played Gary Bell on Alphas which is sort of in the same universe as Warehouse 13 because of Doctor Vanessa Calder (Lindsay Wagner) appeared there as well) and learn that he has been cursed by the Faire's Gypsy fortune teller Madame Dooriya (Mary Lou Rosato) or so he thinks. He was actually cursed from the main artifact Mother Shipton's Tarot Cards which make the cards predictions come true. To confuse matters a little it was not Madame Dooriya but her granddaughter Catarina (Erin Way who played Kat on Alphas) disguised as Madame Dooriya. Pete and Steve deactivate the deck of cards, but their full hand has to be played out. Oswald has to show the courage the cards are drawing out of him in order for him to win the hand of the Princess of the faire, but his heart belongs to Catarina.

Claudia revives Claire with Myka's help by combining some artifacts. However in the process Myka gets Whammied by the Music Box that had originally possessed Claire. When Myka returns to help Artie restock the dark vault artifacts he discovers her possession and eventually gets things under control. In the process however Claire has to be put back into a coma. This was a disappointment to me as I thought they should have found a way to keep her revived, maybe they will do so in the last episode.

Series Regulars:
Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock)
Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly)
Artie Nielsen (Saul Rubenik)
Claudia Donovan (Allison Scagliotti)
Steve Jinks (Aaron Ashmore)

Guest Cast:
Oswald "The Doofer" (Ryan Cartwright)
Catarina (Erin Way)
Claire Donovan (Chryssie Whitehead)
King (Richard Fitzpatrick)
Princess (Victoria "Tori" Anderson)
The Herold (Andre Arruda)
Madame Dooriya (Mary Lou Rosato)
Joe "Puppet Jester" (Danny Smith)
Magician (William Fisher)

Except for the unresolved Claire in a coma problem I really enjoyed this episode. I think they are sort of getting back on the right track. I am still annoyed that the series is ending before it reaches its full potential. If I were a professional writer and could come up with new and cool artifact ideas I would love to work on a series of novels for the show.

I give this episode 4 Warehouse artifacts ****