Or What's In A Name?
OK I can live with the common misspelling of my last name using an "o" instead of an "e". It used to really tick me off, but I've learned to accept it, as I'm sure people with the last name of Smith who spell their last name Smyth. The Scandinavian spelling I use seems to baffle most people, even though Hans Christian Andersen is probably known more world-wide than Pamela Anderson (except to fans of Baywatch and Playboy magazine subscribers). Still most people spell the name Andersen with an "sOn". It's only natural since the surname in most languages and cultures means "the son of Ander (or Anders)".
I can even put up with some of the weird misspellings of my first name but the one that gets my goat, or grinds my gears is "Kirl". ACK! that's right some idiot data entry clerk at some credit card company, probably Citibank about 2 or 3 years ago, maybe even earlier somehow deleted my second "k" and combined my middle initial to my first name. Now there is a mailing list with that name on it. Wait, What? KIRL isn't even a name, it's not even the proper spelling of Curl. It's what you do to your hair, or with a set of weights, or even a very bad misspelling of a young person of the female gender.
I don't know how many times I've received junk mail under that "name". I used to tear them up and recycle them, but now if I want to take the trouble I mark those letters "Return To Sender" mark up the name a little and put a note that says something like "No such person", or "Nobody by that name at this address" and I usually put "Please remove from mailing list". Of course all this returned mail won't even be looked at, and half of it won't even be delivered by the post office. So why should I bother?
OK this made me feel a little better.Maybe I should try to get a second identity under that name and get a second Social Security number. NO I would probably be arrested for identity theft, or trying to use an alias. Then how the frack do all those criminals steal names so easily, yet the victims spend many years trying to get things fixed and it never gets corrected?
Other misspellings of my name I can recall have been:
Akirk -I think this was another CitiBank special, using the first letter of my last name added to the front of my first name.
Curt - Often people ask me if I spell my name that way, Um NO I'm a Kirk not a Kurt. It is interesting how I haven't heard of a spelling of "Cirk".
Kick - Another Non-Name.
Kurt - Again I've been asked if this it the spelling for my name.
Rick -I know sometimes I've been called that by people who have misheard my name. I don't think I've received any mail under that name. Oddly enough I have sometimes also been called "Erik". I have a brother Erik, but often the people asking have no idea I have a brother with that name.
Turk - This I've just heard from people who have misheard my name. Again another NON-Name. I have never received any mail under it Thank Goodness
Not sure If I've gotten a "Kirt", or even a "Krik", but once several years ago from the magazine Scientific American (or maybe just Science Magazine) the label was addressed "Dr. Kirk Andersen". Somewhere I think I still have that subscription form. I liked that I was tempted to subscribe to the dang thing just because of the title on the label. It wouldn't have been worth it though as the subscription rates for that magazine was pretty expensive. With doctors as subscribers I guess they do gouge their subscribers a bit.
Good thing I don't have a complicated Middle Eastern name, that would get butchered by most English speaking people, both in pronunciation and in spelling. OK Rant over for now.
